Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Victims and monsters

I see so many victims
(Pain made them)
Change into monsters themselves

Makes me wonder
Haven't most monsters been victims?

Did an actual step on a toe started it?
Did the few real monsters?

For sure the solution is tolerance and understanding..

Wednesday, December 27, 2017


They say we swam,
then we crawled,
then we walked.
because one thing that life has showed me,
we're still crawling

..out of slime,
..that doesn't let go.

- yours truly

Thursday, December 7, 2017

OK, Ecosia is a bit less good than Google, but I'm gonna keep with it..

I came across this video about Ecosia, a tree planting search engine:

Short synopsis:

Participate in reforestation by changing your default search engine to Ecosia. Really, that's all it takes!
Ditching Google Search is also a good idea because they block independent sources.
Let's not only raise our voice, but take part in changing the world. Thank you for caring AND sharing.

My experience

My friend told me then that Ecosia is too bad from google that he had to return to google, though he admitted that was some time ago and was curious if it is still so.
So, I kept my attention high since seeing that video and putting my default search engine on ecosia and I compared. I am not sure it is as bad as it was then, but here it is...

  • Ecosia often doesn't put the things I am really looking for on top of the results as much as google does. They appear very low, sometimes even not on the first page of 10 results.
  • Also, they don't have certain features.. 
    • translating words directly
      Google: "translate xxx from English to Portuguese"
    • asking the definition of a word
      Google: "define:Rayleigh Scattering"
      ... like looking for images of certain type
      Google: "horse filetype:png"

Ecosia does, however, do a lot! Like asking for time, weather, using it as a calculator, some filters in images and offering the wikipedia as the definition for a word nonetheless (in Google it displays the definition text as a result you can see directly and you don't have to click on the link, unless you want more detail).

So, I must say, Ecosia people have done quite a bit of features in a short time! (When google has had 3 decades and gigantic financial resource due to it's somewhat monopoly!). That is really fantastic. Trust me, I'm a programmer and a DB expert. This is deep level technical and trial-and-error heavy code-lifting!
Small side-note to that is that maybe they will grow better than Google (if enough people use it so they can stay financially healthy?).

My decision

I am gonna leave my default engine on ecosia, even though it's a bit annoying sometimes. When I need google, I just paste the keywords on the Firefox search bar and click the Google search option at the bottom of the suggestions on the location bar. It's only 3 seconds work! A bit annoying, but maybe worthwhile the trees I plant. I just hope I don't get too much annoyed on the long run...

P.S. I planted 334 trees meanwhile. Wooooow!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Realisation of "no thoughts" meditation might come only afterwards

Here is something I experienced a couple of hours ago and though I might have to edit this text, I wanted to share it already to anyone interested in meditation, especially the "no thoughts" meditation as I call it now. As usual, it contains some on-first-sight contradictions that really aren't if you think it through. If you know me, you might still not be used to it, but at least you're warned now. :-)
I hope once to create a meditation youtube channel and you might catch the edited version then.

Here I go...

When you are meditating on "just being", "not thinking" -or at least the one I experienced once, near Oeiras, Portugal, august 2017- and when you reach it, you won't realize it on that moment, because I suppose that would mean you just lost it because realizing is some way of thinking, or at least losing your focus.  But you  might realize it after your meditation. At least that is what I did then.
Don't worry, you will still enjoy the meditation! Though that's the wrong word, "enjoy". Maybe "get the benefits" of the meditation? But that's wrong too, and not complete because it loses something that was meant in the word "enjoy". Point is, it's good even if you don't realize it -something our society might have to learn- and, for the beginners out there, it's not like sleeping or being death AT ALL.

I had it then and it was different as I imagined, I didn't "NOT think" as much during the whole meditation, actually much less in time than I'm used too, though maybe more in the amount of "no thoughts" on afew rare occasion(s). So I thought quite a few things during the whole duration of the meditation, but I was calm and in the moment. Maybe I really experienced no (upper*) thoughts at all at some point, but I can't remember clearly. Maybe that's part of it? So, I don't know for sure if I got complete "no thoughts" moment(s), but what I'm sure about is that I reached something. (Finally, after 10 years or so, finally it's starting again! Self-note: Don't drop it! It' volatile!)
I know I reached something because a couple of hours later, I realized it! There were even some leftovers, for example when I could just be with my dog -sweet Stella; she's always "in the moment"-, just be in the love, in the being together and being all right, just the 2 of us, on that moment and nothing more or less. (Without thinking in future or past or thinking how I enjoy it or any other meta-experiences.) (And that's when I start writing this. Hi, here is Ruby from that time. Bye. -edit- note for youtube joke?)

And for me, that is quite an accomplishment, that kind of just being with my dog and enjoying it. But you might think that's nothing special and you experience things like that all the time.. And you might! Who am I to know? But my point is that I got it thanks to that meditation and I never get much of these. So, it improved myself there. So, who knows what or where you might get?
Hell! I might be way behind you on several things, maybe even all, but I think I might still teach or motivate you to get further. That's a possible thing, you know? I hope that I at least teached or motivated you a bit (partly joking; it's also all right if you are also much further. :-) -edit- will people get this joke?)

Now, maybe a more advanced "meditator" might realize the "just being", "without thoughts", and now I mean realize without thinking. I would doubt it after this experience or in general that realizing is possible without some rational cognition. You know, without that first entity*, your top singularity thinker where everything is serial and nothing happens at once..
But who knows that if you get used to experience this and for long times at once (instead the short one or ones I got), you get a kind of second sense and you can realize it after all, without thinking about it or without focussing on the realisation or maybe realisation can then happen in those other regions*. 

I wish you all progress on your enlightenment, whichever you need..
(Don't tell me I said this, but I believe there is only one fore everyone, though the path might be different for each.)

"upper thoughts",
"top thinker",
"mind regions",
"first entity",
"top singularity thinker, where everything is serial and nothing happens at once..":
If you want to know more about all the different regions and mind levels I have experienced and encountered through meditation, that will be for another time..

Sunday, July 9, 2017

One that is not able to abandon anything,
will fail to bring about any change.

Something that I got from the anime "Attack on Titan".

Found it very beautiful and I myself am not completely able to abandon anything..Working on it!
I have in the past, but apparently it was not a permanent ability.

(I think it's misplaced in the general ethics of the anime, more or less, but yeah..)